Flopped on the bed, unsatisfied and a tad bit sick of Lays salty crisps. Yet another day of zilch productivity, empty conversations, nada mood lifters, 0 happy thoughts. Beginning to be my childhood nickname because Stormcloud fits this Sunday evening feeling now. Hate being two faced, ohmygah why can’t Patience come in a pretty plastic bag with a pretty ribbon and sold at 7E? Feel like sitting in a corner and staying away from the entire world because.. I’ve also got zero strength for all this. Things happen for a reason? Yeahyeah
You know Chinese New Year’s coming when you’re melting in your room & the aircond’s been doing it’s job twice as usual! So I’m still here, entering the second week of big change (college), phew. To sum up the whole thingamajig, the word I can only think of to describe the start of tertiary education (wowowow) = overwhelmed. Struggled (and still am) through the first week of college, putting on a brave face, taking in deep breaths and.. Going for the kill. Thrown back at how everyone looks at you differently cos you’re only expected to know your physics equations and formulas by heart, to be at class earlier than the lecturer, that no it’s not cool to get a B for math, weekends are homework days, that exhaustion is only normal & to grow up and deal with it. It’s pretty safe to say I’ve been complaining 24/7 about responsibility & have thought of getting to Neverland so I’d never have to grow up and ‘deal with it’. Got all thoughtful last night about peers, after coming across photos of ‘em with unknown faces and whatnot. & I thought to myself, if it’s taking me this long to adapt, change, then what am I to do when I’m in a different continent? Not a very cute/cool scenario. :( Time changes and we with time I guess, such an uncomfortable feeling, in all honesty. Always complaining about routine but never willing to give it up for a brand new start, hahaha. But but but, things are looking up, ever so thankful for my two jojo driver buddies, laughy train rides & for everyday opportunities to meet new faces. Here’s to another roller coaster year, 18 months, bring it.